DANI X JAMIE
The Haunting of Bly Manor

I am extremely online but in like the Loser Way. if you try to make me use instagram or tiktok I fumble around with it like a grandma who has never seen a phone before. if you send me a tumblr screenshot however, I will tell you that not only have I already seen the original post but that I'm mutuals with OP

"real life" people I know like coworkers, extended family, etc all have me on Facebook which I visit maybe once every four months to post something extremely normie like a cat or landscape photo. To them I am the peak, blissfully offline, not on instagram or tiktok, only checking Facebook three times a year.

If only they knew the truth.

I've had coworkers send me facebook screenshots of my own tumblr in work chat with an LOL and they have no idea I'm ralfmaximus.

movies where someone hears an important message only once and retains all the details….

girl if that were me, we’d be fucked. I have to reread emails like 4 times.

if it were me having to repeat my dead father’s instructions on destroying the death star:

I was in a college psych class, and the teacher was doing some kind of exercise about memory, patterns, and retention. He began with, “for instance, if I asked you what number the first letter of your name is in the alphabet, you wouldn’t be able to tell me right aw–”

“Ten,” I said.

“What?”

“J. J is ten,” I said again.

He stared at me.

“I happened to learn it while looking at the alphabet when I was five or six, and it just stayed in my brain,” I told him.

Then we did an exercise on retention. “I’m going to tell you a story,” he said, “and then I’m going to send you out of the room for five minutes, and when you come back, you have to repeat as much of the story back to me as possible.”

He told me a long and meandering story with no plot or structure, just a random series of events, place names, actions, etc. Then he sent me out of the room.

I looked at the wall for a while.

He called me back in five minutes later, stood me up in front of the class, and asked me to repeat “just as much of the story as you remember.” Apparently while I’d been gone he’d been telling the class about how eyewitness accounts aren’t reliable because people don’t remember things well after a certain period of time.

So I told his story back to him– not verbatim, but certain phrases were exact– and watched the consternation in his face as I accidentally blew up his (valid! and extensively studied!) lesson about how bad people’s retention is.

“It’s like a song,” I tried to explain to him, and the class. “Or a poem. Every part of the story has a little tag to remember it. I looked at the chalkboard while you were saying this part. My leg itched while you were saying that part. A chair squeaked during the next part. Then I just have to come back and go over all the sensations that I had while you were”

“Sit down,” he said.

I sat.

Turns out I’m Autisms Georg adn should not have been counted

ADHD version: A friend asked, on a field trip, why I knew the scientific name for Caltha palustris, “Well, we did that [one week long] field ID course [three years previously] and we saw it in one of the bogs”.

This, I was informed, is very much not a normal reason to remember the scientific name of a plant for the rest of your life.

It took me five whole years to learn when my partner’s birthday is.

I can remember specific details about games I played over two decades ago that I have not played since.

I once forgot it was my birthday. On my birthday. And when my sister (Who lived several hours away) jumped out of hiding and yelled happy birthday, I looked around to see who she was talking to.

ALT

would you?

actually you know what that's exactly it i would rather someone add 5 parantheticals after every sentence than use tone indicators it's 1. accomplishing SO much more in terms of clarity 2. extremely funny to look at depending on how they're used

observe:

"is this real? /gen" — i thought /gen meant "general" for ages. i would not be able to understand this on first sight a few years ago and is thus ineffective

"is this real? (genuine question)" — i fully understand this without issue

"is this real? (genuine question) (can't tell) (very realistic) (looks real) (scary) (photoshop?)" — is not only incredibly clear it's also very funny to read all of these thoughts stapled together while also in their own parentheses. it's also the most useful because now i can actually address all parts of what they are asking me with as much specificity as BOTH of us need

parentheses my beloved (they are for bonus thoughts) (and questions) ( and sidetracks) (like a 2nd conversation on top of the first)

(◡‿◡✿)

(ʘ‿ʘ✿) “what you say ‘bout me”

(ʘ‿ʘ)ノ✿ “hold my flower”

✿＼(｡-_-｡) “Kick his ass, baby.  I got yo flower.”

i found it

the original post

i found it

this should have the opportunity to be on everyone’s blog. 

*tour guide voice*

and here on the left ladies and gentlemen, you see one of the posts before everyone went batshit crazy

World Heritage Post

Everyone here is dead.

Official graveyard post. +Bonus

technically we’re ALL, always LARPing, because the Self is only a construct,

I want a new character

Then make one.

“Then make one” has the same energy as “then perish” but like. Opposite. Same and opposite.

OP is sociologically sound from a symbolic interactionist dramaturgical POV. 

A 4th century CE statue of Aphroditos. Her cock wards off evil spirits. Reblog to rid your blog of evil spirits.

Official Aphrodite’s Cock Post (It Wards Off Evil Spirits)

girl who wont shut up about how she "loves a man in uniform" but as she keeps talking it becomes clear she's talking about butches in customer service jobs

Kinda feel like there's some untapped meme/reaction image potential from old horror movie trailers...

edward, please come home your exes are unionizing

i know hearing people on this website love to pass around those posts with links to free sign language lessons but you know you need to actually put effort into learning about Deaf culture, too, right?

if you are currently learning ASL, you need to read Introduction to American Deaf Culture by Thomas K. Holcomb

resources for other Deaf cultures include, but are not limited to:

• Black Deaf Culture Through the Lens of History (BASL and ASL-centric)
  
• Understanding Deaf Culture by Paddy Ladd (which can also be found on archive.org)
• Many Ways to Be Deaf: International Variation in Deaf Communities
  
• the British Deaf Association website
  
• directory for Deaf Australia’s “Our Deaf Ways” video podcast (presented in Auslan with audio from an interpreter and accurate closed captioning for all episodes)
• The Irish Deaf Community by Patrick A. Matthews
• Breaking the Silence: The Education of the Deaf in Ireland, 1816-1996
• the Canadian Deaf Culture Center website
• History of Hawai'i Sign Language and Hawai'i Deaf People by Barbara Earth, with Linda Lambrecht
• ‘We did it ourselves’: The Deaf Social Movement and the Quest for the Legal Recognition of the Libras Sign Language in Brazil
  

to anyone in the notes saying they’re going to “learn sign language first and then learn about Deaf culture later,” please consider: not doing that and, instead, learning about Deaf culture and your target sign language concurrently!

#spike said fine if you won't let me be your boyfriend I will be your mom's son in law
(via @anyxnka)

I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE THIS.

@ladyoftheteaandblood

this tweet is making me choke to death

1. precisely
2. really really enjoying this phrasing